Week 3: Emerging from the Fog (Slightly)

The Sleep Saga Continues (But with a Twist):

They talk about sleep regression happening to your baby around the 6-month mark, but what about your partner? My wife has reverted back to getting no or a few hours of sleep. She wants to help out while she’s awake. She’s so in tuned with the baby that whenever he cries, she jolts up to tend to what he needs. As her supportive partner, I have to find a balance between just telling her to go back to sleep and letting her love on the baby. Hopefully, she goes back to getting some rest because as we know, sleep is still a precious commodity.

Those glorious stretches of uninterrupted slumber remain a distant dream. However, you might have started to notice some patterns. Maybe your little one is starting to consolidate their sleep a little bit. Maybe you've discovered the magic of the double swaddle or the perfect white noise machine. You're still tired, bone-tired even, but you're starting to adapt. You're becoming a sleep-deprivation ninja.

Decoding the Cries:

Remember those early days where every cry sounded like a five-alarm fire? By week three, you're starting to decipher the nuances. The "I'm hungry" cry sounds different from the "I'm gassy" cry, which is distinctly different from the "I'm just generally unhappy and need some cuddles" cry. Maybe you’re generally unhappy and need some cuddles. Get all the cuddles you can without them being able to complain. They’ll turn their face up at you because you want to cuddle, but I think the face means that they hate that it’s going to end. It's like you're finally learning baby language 101. It's not perfect, but it's progress.

The Bond Deepens:

Week three is often when that deep, overwhelming love really starts to blossom. Those fleeting smiles become more frequent, those little coos and gurgles become more communicative. You're starting to see a little personality emerge, and it's utterly captivating. Those quiet moments of rocking, feeding, or just gazing at your baby become truly precious. The connection is growing stronger every day. No need to be ashamed of it, it happens to us all. You look down at that face and know that you will do anything to see a smile. Even though we won’t admit it, we also don’t like to hear them cry without trying to figure out what’s wrong either.

The "Getting Out" Experiment:

Remember when leaving the house seemed impossible? By week three, you might be brave enough to venture out for a short trip and I’m not just talking about just to the pediatrician. Maybe it's a quick grocery run, a stroll in the park, or even just a drive around the block. It's a small step, but it feels monumental. It's a reminder that there's a world beyond the four walls of your nursery (and laundry room). Also, encourage your partner to get out. This can go a long way mentally.

Partner Bond:

My therapist told me that when families have babies, their safety and development become the new focus of the family. She informed me that, yes, the new addition is a new focal point, but they aren’t the only focal point. Your partner bond should still be a focal point. What about your safety and development? It is easy to put your baby needs above everything else in the family. I didn’t realize until week 3, that this is what I have done. Focusing primarily on doing enough to support my wife physically while I am out on paternity leave, but not really focusing on the mental component. My therapist says that I have to intentionally plan something with my wife so she knows that I value our bond also. This will build our parenting foundation. We are a team and we need each other. It’s in our favor to ensure that our partner feels connected and supported, just like you need to be too. We got together well before the baby came along. And if you take care of that relationship, it will be there for you long after the kids are grown and out of the house.

Postpartum Depression:

In 5% of men, Postpartum Depression is a real and treatable condition. This can come about with the addition of the baby and losing sense of self amongst other causes. That’s why it’s important to prioritize yourself and your partner. If it’s warm outside, go for a walk with your partner. If you have support, ask someone to watch the baby for a couple hours while you do something for yourself. My therapist asks me every week, what have I done for myself. I constantly don’t have anything to say besides watch television. It could be as simple as that, but we want to make sure that we are doing something that we enjoy. Just think about it from the standpoint of not being a father for just a moment.

Small Victories, Big Impact:

Week three is about celebrating the small victories. A successful feeding, a longer nap, a perfectly executed diaper change (no blowouts!). These little things start to add up, giving you the confidence boost you desperately need.

Tips for Thriving in Week 3:

• Embrace the routine (or lack thereof): Babies are unpredictable, but establishing some semblance of a routine can be helpful. Even if it's just a loose framework, it can provide some structure to your days.

• Take care of yourself (yes, really): Easier said than done, but try to carve out a few minutes for yourself each day. A hot shower, a cup of tea, or even just a few minutes of quiet can make a world of difference. That haircut you’ve been putting off, go get it done.

• Carve out time with your partner: Depression can go both ways. Ensuring that you strengthen your bond, will help with the parenting foundation required to raise children.

• Connect with other parents: Talking to other new parents can be incredibly validating. You're not alone in this! Sharing experiences and tips can be a lifeline.

Week 3 is a turning point. You're still in the thick of it, but you're starting to find your footing. You're learning, growing, and bonding with your little one in ways you never thought possible. Keep up the great work, dad! You've got this.