Week 1: Surviving the Newborn Fog

When they tell you that it gets easier the more children you have, I don’t know who that message is for because it wasn’t for me. Don’t get me wrong some parts get easier, but the overall journey is not for the weak. The whole birthing process is a beautiful thing. Your partner giving birth is something that will cause any man to feel like you would do anything for your partner and the baby. Cutting the umbilical cord will never be not exciting and I feel sorry for anyone that doesn’t experience that. The journey in fatherhood is a difficult but rewarding journey. I just want to share my experience from week to week and month to month. I will share things that help and things that I would change.

The Sleepless Nights:

Let's be honest, sleep is a distant memory. From the time you enter the hospital, it’s time to cancel your subscription to a good night’s sleep, at least temporarily. Apparently sleep isn’t allowed in the hospital with how many times they were entering throughout the night for the mom and baby. It only gets harder once you leave the hospital. You no longer have the help of the nurses to take some duties off your plate, it is now all for you and your partner to do. I decided to take the night shift and most of the morning shift because my wife hasn’t had a good night's sleep since about month 3 in the pregnancy. This is a decision I would choose 10 times out of 10. I know that this is just a temporary thing, but if I sacrifice now, I can help ensure a happy and rested mother in the long run. This being our second baby has prepared me for these sleepless nights, but that doesn’t make it any easier. I know all of this will be worth it in the long term.

The Feeding Frenzy:

They call it “cluster feeding". The baby being on an every hour and a half or 2 hour schedule is inevitable. Whether you're breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, the constant cycle of feeding, burping, and soothing can feel relentless. Before you leave the hospital, your baby is going to lose weight and at the first pediatrician appointment a couple days after you are discharged this can continue to be the trend. The pediatrician will tell you that you need to increase the amount the baby is feeding to get them to start gaining weight. We had to go to the pediatrician twice during the week before our baby stopped losing weight and actually gained weight. All we could do is increase feedings and hope the baby continues to gain weight. It's a delicate dance, a constant negotiation between your baby's needs and your own dwindling energy reserves.

The Diaper Dilemma:

Diaper changes become a well-rehearsed routine. If you were like me and hadn’t changed a diaper before, you had to get used to it really quickly. Gagging during the first couple diaper changes is nothing to be ashamed about. A lot of us have been there. You learn to anticipate the eruption, the proper disposal technique, and the art of the speedy clean-up. Listen to the nurse when they say that when boys feel air, the rain shower can start. The thick, tarry, sticky poop, they call meconium, will be your enemy as you try to pry it from the baby’s bottom. After the meconium is finally done, you'll become intimately familiar with the various shades of baby poop.

Circumcision:

If you want your baby to start hating you from day 1, allow them to get a circumcision in the hospital. There are many benefits to circumcision. Circumcisions can reduce the risk of urinary tract infections (UTIs) in infants. It may also reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and invasive penile cancer later in life. Whatever reason you decide to give yourself as to why your baby needs a circumcision, just remember until it’s healed, every time you touch the diaper or even think about the diaper the baby will cry. Also, the side eyes we received after it was completed only brought a little humor to the situation. Just follow the nurses instructions and the battle will be over soon.

The Laundry Avalanche:

Forget about neatly folded laundry. It's a constant battle against overflowing hampers and a never-ending stream of tiny onesies. Sometimes you’ll think, who needs clothes. Let’s just match today in our underwear because who’s there to judge you. Did I wear this shirt yesterday, will be one of your new favorite sentences because who needs clean clothes the baby is just going to mess up.

Glimmers of Hope:

Amidst the chaos, there are moments of pure magic. That first tentative smile, the feeling of holding your tiny human skin-to-skin, the quiet wonder of simply gazing into their eyes. These moments, however fleeting, make all the sleepless nights worthwhile.

Tips for Week 1 Survival:

• Prepare early: Having the nursery ready is a given, but there are other things that you should prepare. If you like to cook, prepare a week's worth of meals. Just warm it up and you’re set. Have your car seat installed in the car and know how to work it because you don’t want to be trying to figure it out on the fly in the parking deck. If you’re anything like me and want to save as much as possible, ask for extra formula and diapers before you leave the hospital because any and everything helps.

• Swaddling: Your swaddling will never be as perfect as the nurses in the hospital. Try to ask for tips to make your baby into a little burrito. Remember swaddling helps some infants relax and sleep. It may also limit the startle reflex (when babies are surprised and throw out their arms and legs, then curl them in), which can wake them.

• Accept help: Don't hesitate to ask for help from family and friends. Whether it's a meal, a helping hand with laundry, or simply a few hours of uninterrupted sleep, every bit helps.

• Lower your expectations: Don't put too much pressure on yourself to have everything figured out. These early days are about survival and learning as you go.

• Embrace the chaos: Try to find joy in the mess. These moments are precious and fleeting. Documentation is key. Pictures, pictures, and more pictures. You’ll want to remember all the good parts years from now.

Week 1 is a whirlwind, a crash course in the art of parenthood. It's exhausting, exhilarating, and utterly life-changing. Remember to be kind to yourself, and cherish every single moment.